WEATHER SERVICE ADVISORY

000
WGUS43 KDMX 271400
FLWDMX

BULLETIN - EAS ACTIVATION REQUESTED
COWARD WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW HAVEN, CT
849 AM CDT FRI APR 27 2007

IAC015-049-169-280200-
BOONE IA-STORY IA-DALLAS IA-
849 AM CDT FRI APR 27 2007

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN NEW HAVEN HAS ISSUED A COWARDICE WARNING IN...
BRONX COUNTY, NEW YORK

* UNTIL 900 PM CDT FRIDAY.

* AT 849 AM EST...EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT AND LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS
CONTINUED TO REPORT AN INCREASED LIKLIHOOD THAT THE NEW YORK YANKEES WOULD PUSS OUT AND WIMPILY CANCEL THEIR FRIDAY EVENING GAME VERSUS THE DOMINANT BOSTON RED SOX DUE TO THE AVAILABILITY OF THE FLIMSIEST EXCUSE HAVING TO DO WITH A LIGHT RAIN.

IN BRONX COUNTY...LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS A STRETCH OF EXTREME DENIAL
CONTINUING TO HOVER OVER THE VICINITY OF YANKEE STADIUM AND ITS ENVIRONS...LAW ENFORCEMENT REPORTS TWO CONFIRMED INSTANCES WHERE YANKEE MANAGEMENT, OUT OF DESPERATION, WENT BACK ON EARLIER PRONOUNCEMENTS REGARDING THE CARE AND BABYING OF HIGHLY TOUTED PITCHING PROSPECTS AS WELL AS AVOWED REFUSALS TO USE CLOSER MARIANO RIVERA IN ANYTHING BUT THE 9TH.... IN BRONX
COUNTY...EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT REPORTS AN OMINOUS FEELING THAT THE YANKEES WOULD JUST AS SOON STOP THE BLEEDING AND NOT HAVE TO PLAY THE RED SOX TONITE AFTER THEIR SIX GAME LOSING STREAK.

A COWARDICE WARNING MEANS THAT PUSSYING OUT IS IMMINENT OR HAS BEEN REPORTED.
ALL INTERESTED PARTIES SHOULD TAKE NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS IMMEDIATELY. YANKEE FANS ARE ADVISED TO BEGIN COMPOSING BLINDERED RESPONSE PATTERNS WHICH OBVIATE THE NEED FOR ANY ACTUAL FACT OR REALITY.

EXCESSIVE RUNOFF FROM RECENT HEAVY COWARDICE WILL CONTINUE TO PRODUCE
ELEVATED LEVELS OF SERIOUS PUSSIFICATION, NOTABLY IN THE CONTINUED REFUSAL TO RETALIATE AGAINST RED SOX PITCHERS WHO DROP THE PURPLE-LIPPED ALEX RODRIGUEZ ON HIS FAT PHONY ASS AND PLUNK THE GOLDEN BOY AND SUPPOSED "CAPTAIN" DEREK JETER REPEATEDLY, AND WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE.

YANKEE FANS: DO NOT DRIVE YOUR VEHICLE INTO AREAS WHERE KNOWLEDGEABLE BASEBALL FANS MAY BE PRESENT. THE REALITY DEPTH MAY BE TOO GREAT TO ALLOW YOUR CAR TO CROSS
SAFELY TO THE SECURE ENVIRONS OF YOUR DELUDED BELIEF THAT NOTHING IS CURRENTLY WRONG WITH YOUR FRANCHISE. MOVE TO HIGHER GROUND.

THE STOCKPILING OF BIGELOW GREEN TEA IS ADVISED.

LAT...LON 4151 9424 4151 9381 4187 9382 4187 9324
4221 9323 4221 9417 4186 9416 4186 9427

$$

KINNEY