Dear Yankee Apologists,
I am really enjoying the Clemens-signing backlash. It's surprised even me with its vehemence right out of the gate. The entire over-choreographed "spectacle" at Yankee Stadium yesterday had the unintended and typically Yankee result of embarrassing all involved. Clemens looks phony and disingenuous for his "handling" of the question of his "do whatever the hell you want" contract terms. The Yankees look desperate and needy for bending over backwards to accommodate a me-first player who wraps himself in the guise of responsibility and the shouldering of expectations even as he ignores the very real good he might do working with the Yankee's young pitchers when he is not pitching. The only thing missing was jug-eared drunk Ronan Tynan serenading The Rocket with "Still The One". Good Lord.
But nothing is as representative of the New Yankee Annoyance as Suzyn Waldman's hysterical, pants-shitting, saliva-spittling radio freakout as she "called" the Clemens owner's-box appearance. I haven't been able to find the raw, unexpurgated audio, but WCBS.com has a snippet at this link:
Suzyn Shits Herself
I defy anyone, even die-hard Yankee fans, to listen to that audio and not feel dirty. Suzyn Waldman is the furthest thing from any sort of credible "journalist", of course: we all understand that. But that's ok: that's not what she's there for. She is there to quiveringly and breathlessly describe the doings of "Jorgie" and "Jeter" and "A Rod" and "Joe" and the rest of her clubhouse "pals", while we on the other side of the speakers are made painfully aware of the disparity between the role those individuals play in her life, in her mind, and the reality of the role those individuals play in her life, in the real world. Suzyn Waldman makes Sweeny Murti look like the Carl Bernstein of clubhouse coverage. Even John Sterling was the model of restraint and decorum compared to Waldman's hyperventilating embarrassment.
And what, really, is there for her to be surprised about? That the Yankees overpaid for an aging superstar? Nope, no surprise there. That in the face of clear-cut evidence that the method in which this team was constructed has severe limitations and flaws, the team's reaction is NOT to put in place long term policies and plans designed to address the team's shortcomings but instead a flashy, short-term stop-gap measure designed to appease the Great Unwashed while fucking with the already delicate chemistry of a Yankee clubhouse already riven with problems? Also no surprise.
Let's examine the sad case of Ron Guidry. What, exactly, is Louisiana Lighting supposed to do now?? Do you think his word counts as much as Roger's? Roger, who has George's ear and pretends to represent the values that George worships, even as he dodges and ducks questions about why his name appeared on documents relating to the Jason Grimsley HGH investigation? As did Andy Petitte's, by the way. Clearly Roger's presence is SUPPOSED to "straighten out" the listing ship of Yankee Pitching. But what message is being sent when Roger can come and go as he pleases when he's not pitching. How is Guidry supposed to preach the philosophy of putting the team first when the biggest name in his stable doesn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else does? The short answer is: he can't. The medium answer is that Guidry has been chopped off at the legs by this move. And this is so so typical of the Yankees. Short-term. Stop-gap measure. And damn whoever else in the clubhouse and team is affected by it.
Classic. The Yankees single-handedly made the Red Sox look like the model of decorum and restraint. As we remain pleasantly above the fray here, I consider my team so lucky to have clear leadership at the helm. Now, it was a bloody and difficult process to get here, no question: there were very real and damaging growing pains in the sorting out of Theo and Larry's relationship. But we have clear leadership, we have a direction, and as a result, we have fielded for 2007 the best baseball team in the AL East.
Roger Clemens doesn't fix or answer anything for the Yankees. He merely points out the ongoing futility of moves like this. He illustrates the blindered, blinkered philosophy which continues to delude legions of Yankee players, fans, and executives: and that is that the answers lie in individual players, and not in organization-wide shared philosophies, patiently applied and lived-through.
Yours,
The Editor.
